Divorce involves lots financial housekeeping. If you’re in the middle of it, you’re probably thinking that’s the biggest understatement you’ve heard in quite a while! You’ve had to gather, copy, organize and read through a tremendous amount of paperwork (and it may have been the first time you laid eyes on some of it). But it’s all worth it. You now have significant files of financial information at the ready. You’ve come a long way in terms of financial awareness and organization. And you’ll be able to put all of that to use in your new life as a single woman.
Women and Divorce: How We Cope
There is one universal truth when it comes to divorce—it’s hard, really hard. How we deal with the struggle depends as much on the circumstances surrounding the split as on our individual emotional makeup. But one of the things that can help in understanding is that we’re not alone in our experience. Although there are countless reasons why a couple may decide to end their marriage, there are a few divorce scenarios that most people fall into, each triggering a unique cascade of emotions. Below, I share three of the most common I see in my practice:
THE BLINDSIDE
5 Ways to Effectively Manage Your Emotions During Divorce
Divorce is by far one of the most stressful and unsettling events that can occur in a person’s life. It shakes the once-solid foundation of the marriage—and the family. It disrupts lives, changes routines, and often makes people feel like they are in an emotional spin cycle.
Although it may feel impossible at first, learning how to manage that emotional fray is one of the first steps toward healing your heart and finding peace. The key? Remembering that it’s a process—and one that takes time. Sometimes sadness or anger will get the better of you, and that’s ok. What matters most is that you do your best to keep moving forward from wherever you are. These steps can help:
Five Ways To Become More Comfortable Discussing Money
Many of us were brought up not to talk about how much money we earn or spend. We’ve been taught to consider this kind of information strictly personal, and that it is crass to discuss such things outside the home. However, while it can be in poor taste to brag or be nosy about money, people do need to be able to discuss financial matters openly in appropriate contexts –and I think we’d agree that the office of your divorce financial advisor is definitely an appropriate context! Yet, over the years I’ve been helping women navigate financially complex divorces, I’ve found that many women are just not comfortable with those conversations.
The 3 Emotional Stages of Divorce
Divorce brings one of the most emotionally turbulent times in life, triggering what seems like every possible feeling: from intense fear and sadness, to happiness and relief, and back to grief and disappointment. These emotions happen whether you’re the one initiating the divorce, the one being asked for it, or you’re both in agreement that it’s time to lead separate lives. While the emotional progression isn’t exactly the same for everyone, there is a fairly typical pattern that most people experience:
Active And Passive Appreciation: A Multi-Billion Dollar Case Study
The divorce of Oklahoma oilman Harold Hamm from his ex-wife Sue Ann Arnall has made both social and financial headlines at every stage. With billions of dollars at stake (the marital estate was reportedly valued at around $18B), the settlement had potential to be the largest one in history.
Hamm is the founder and CEO of Continental Resources (CLR), the largest leaseholder in North Dakota’s oil-rich Bakken Shale. Ms. Arnall is an attorney and former Continental executive.
Continental’s investors watched the divorce proceedings carefully, considering the impact an enormous settlement could have on the share price of company stock. Most likely, there was also concern about the untold time and expense Continental’s own attorneys were devoting to the divorce effort.
Women, Need Help Paying For Your Divorce? New Divorce Funding Firms Can Be A Lifeline
Women are often shocked to realize how much it can cost to get divorced. Suffering through the decline of your marriage and finally deciding to call it quits is enough of an emotional wringer. Once you start interviewing attorneys and figuring out how much you need to fund your divorce, the proverbial light at the end of the tunnel can seem further away than ever.
Yes, today’s financially complex divorces can be staggeringly expensive. Attorneys can cost hundreds of dollars per hour and require substantial up-front retainers. Plus, you’ll need to pay your divorce financial advisor, and any forensic accountants, vocational and valuation experts, or other professionals whose expertise you may require in pursuit of a fair settlement. And on top of all that, you’ll still need to manage your household expenses.