Even if you had no experience with divorce prior to your own, you probably had some pretty clear ideas about what it would be like to go through one. You might have assumed it’s always easier if you’re the initiator, or that you’d be so angry there wouldn’t be time or space to feel hurt and lonely. When I’m working with clients transitioning through divorce, we often spend a lot of time dealing with “But I never thought…” Which is why learning to let go of your expectations of what divorce is “supposed” to be is one of the very first steps toward healing. In the meantime, though, I thought I’d share some of my patients’ biggest divorce surprises in the hopes of making your journey just a little easier: