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How to Feel Optimistic About Your Future, Despite Your Impending Divorce

January 26, 2016 by Kristin M. Davin

While going through a divorce, what helps people weather the many storms and the ups and downs is feeling both hopeful and optimistic about their future – despite how they feel at the moment. Experiencing the glimmers of a better and happier day when their divorce is a thing of the past, allows for positive emotions to emerge.

People hang on to those moments – even if in the beginning they are outnumbered by the challenging and negative experiences. And in doing so, they can begin to believe that eventually, the tide will turn and the positive days begin to outnumber the negative.

Women – Planning To Divorce In 2016? Use This Checklist To Prepare

January 8, 2016 by Jeffrey A. Landers

Janet and Bill had some happy years together – until she learned of his infidelities. Since then, she’s been trying to make the best of it, for the children’s sake. Now, though, Janet realizes she can’t continue hoping things will work out. It’s time to end the marriage and move on with her life, and she’s going to do just that – now that the holidays have come and gone. Breaking the news to family over gatherings for Thanksgiving, Chanukah and Christmas felt wrong, and by contrast, January seems to be a perfect fit – New Year, new life.

Are You Sure You Want To Keep The Marital Home? Answer These Four Questions

December 7, 2015 by Jeffrey A. Landers

If you’re divorcing, you’ve no doubt been asked “Will you get to keep the house?” It seems that in many divorces, the marital home can begin to feel like kind of a prize, something to fight for. It’s almost as though there is an unspoken notion that the spouse who moves out appears in some ways to have “lost.”

Granted, the marital residence carries significant symbolic and cultural weight. After all, “Home is where the heart is” –or so we’re told. In addition, for many couples, the marital home is their largest single asset. But does that mean the person who gets the house “wins?” Is there any financial truth to that idea?

How A Simple Question Can Help You Through Your Divorce

November 16, 2015 by Kristin M. Davin

Transitioning through divorce usually means that, at any given time, you feel immobilized and indecisive about what to do. This is often peppered with a lack focus and clarity, preventing you from taking necessary steps to creating change in your life. Your frustration about where you are and where you want to be is bound in feeling anxious and overwhelmed.

Allowing yourself to be stuck in the past and unable to make changes in the present leads to difficulty creating a different future – a future you need to create that is more aligned to where you really want to be.

Divorcing Women: Don’t Let Your Husband Land You In Tax Trouble

November 2, 2015 by Jeffrey A. Landers

As a divorcing woman, you almost certainly have a number of pressing financial concerns on your mind. Unfortunately, when it’s time to file your federal income tax return, it’s likely the Internal Revenue Service will give you even more to consider. Every year brings more nuances and complications to the tax code, and if you’re divorcing, you could be facing additional unique challenges, as well.

Like most married couples, you’ve probably been filing joint tax returns, and like too many married women, you may have left that task mostly to your husband to do, or to oversee. But even though that approach was convenient when you were married, now that you’re divorcing, your joint tax return could be a potentially dangerous pitfall.

5 Things NOT To Expect While Going Through Divorce

October 15, 2015 by Kristin M. Davin

If there is one thing that everyone can agree upon when it comes to divorce, it’s that it is predictably unpredictable. Just when you think you have it figured out (to some degree) and you are on the path of recovery – wham! You walk right into another wall that leaves you feeling disillusioned, confused, and completely unsure of what you are doing.

Divorced Women and Retirement: Obstacles and Strategies

October 5, 2015 by Jeffrey A. Landers

It’s not fair, but it’s true: Financially healthy retirement is more difficult for women to achieve than it is for men. If you’re married, there is at least some security and comfort in being part of a team that is planning to retire together. If you are divorcing, though, you’ll be solely responsible for your own financial well-being into your later years. For you, the financial challenges posed by retirement are both multiplied and magnified.

Is retirement too daunting even to contemplate? Should you resign yourself to financial dire straits in your future, hoping someone else will take care of you? Absolutely not. Planting your head in the sand is the biggest mistake you could make.

Just Decided To Get Divorced? 11 Strategies To Get You Through The Transition

September 17, 2015 by Kristin M. Davin

There’s no way to make divorce easy. You can only try to make the process easier—and that’s going to be a little different for everyone. However, if you can hold tight, believe in yourself, and learn how to manage your thoughts (even the dark ones) and feelings (which are all over the place), there will be a light at the end of the tunnel (and no, it won’t be an oncoming train). Try these strategies to help get you through:

Ten Years And One Day: Why Ben Affleck And Jennifer Garner May Have Waited To Split

September 1, 2015 by Jeffrey A. Landers

Celebrity divorces make headlines much more often than they make any real difference in the lives of ordinary folks like you and me. Occasionally, though, an interesting angle to a high-profile case gives all divorcing women something useful to think about. One recent example: Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner, celebrated movie star couple and parents of three children, have decided to call it quits. Their announcement was reportedly made one day after their tenth wedding anniversary. Why is that significant? Is there something special about a marriage that lasts ten years plus one day?

10 Surprises of Divorce

August 19, 2015 by Kristin M. Davin

Even if you had no experience with divorce prior to your own, you probably had some pretty clear ideas about what it would be like to go through one. You might have assumed it’s always easier if you’re the initiator, or that you’d be so angry there wouldn’t be time or space to feel hurt and lonely. When I’m working with clients transitioning through divorce, we often spend a lot of time dealing with “But I never thought…” Which is why learning to let go of your expectations of what divorce is “supposed” to be is one of the very first steps toward healing. In the meantime, though, I thought I’d share some of my patients’ biggest divorce surprises in the hopes of making your journey just a little easier:

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